If I focus on myself, will I be considered selfish? Probably. But only by people who enjoy you pouring more into them than you do into yourself. If you are constantly feeling drained, it is time to look at the signs you need to prioritize your self care. This isn't a blog that just points out your struggles without offering real support. This is a space for personal growth and transformation through changing habits. Here are 7 signs you are neglecting yourself and the habits you can change today to reclaim your purpose, peace, and prosperity.

CONSTANT EXHAUSTION

No matter how many hours you sleep, you are constantly tired. It doesn’t matter if you slept 7 or 10 hours, you wake up feeling groggy and heavy. You are doing too much and most of it has to do with your mental. It’s your body’s way of letting you know that you are being drained from an external factor, such as something on your mind or someone in your energy.

PEOPLE PLEASING

You say yes to everyone and everything so you don’t hurt anyone’s feelings. But what about your feelings? You do not have enough hours in the day to take care of others if you do not have time to take care of yourself. Ask yourself, Do I have a fear of creating a boundary because I want to feel needed or a fear that I need someone or something else to focus on, so that I’m not focused on me and my problems?

NEGLECTING BASIC NEEDS

When is the last time you drank water, got 8 hours of sleep or ate more than one meal a day, on purpose? I’m just asking. We put off that pedicure until our toes look like claws. We stop drinking water, not realizing that the sugar we are craving is our body’s way of letting us know we need water. We ignore the internal and external signs that are blaring at us and begging us to pay attention to ourselves.

Maya Lynne relaxing at the pool in Cabo, Mexico

GUILT FOR RELAXING

You feel lazy and unproductive when you try to relax. This used to be my biggest problem. I was conditioned from childhood that if I wasn’t doing something I was being lazy. Sometimes that’s exactly what you need to do… nothing. Lay in bed on your day off. Don’t clean the house. Take a shower or a bath and sit in your bathrobe or boxers. It’s okay to be boring once in a while.

PHYSICAL AILMENTS

You get headaches, muscle tension, or stomach issues from stress. First, you need water. Next, less screen time and more stretching. Finally, your belly is functioning on empty. It’s not enough to see the symptoms, at some point, you must address them to heal or at least relieve the pain.

ACCEPT POOR TREATMENT

You allow disrespect or bad boundaries from friends, family, and coworkers. Maybe nobody told them they could talk to you any kind of way, but one day, they did it and you did nothing. One day, you let their bad behavior go and then it turned into two days then a month then you can’t remember the last time they asked how you were or offered to help you. It’s okay. I see you and I’m saying, tell them how you feel and then stand on it. There should be consequences to bad behavior. Let them lose you if they continue to abuse you.

LOSS OF IDENTITY

You no longer remember what you like or who you are. At least put some chapstick on and comb your hair. Sometimes we wrap our lives and focus on others and forget who we are and what we need. Don’t be so enmeshed with others that you don’t prioritize your personality.

REMEDIES

Now for the support. Because it’s not enough to just talk about the problems. Without solutions, nothing changes.

First, I would get off of social media.Not all together, I know people have to make money and socialize, but I guarantee if you are spending more than 3 hours a day on it, which is still a lot, it’s too much.

The constant comparison to other people’s manufactured lives is killing our emotional capacity to care. Life feels like a comparison, competition even, instead of a support.

We aren’t meant to be controlled by trends, stats and robots, regarding what to post, how often to post, focusing on the follower quantity instead of quality of connection. I mean, look at what we ask for on social media. Which sound better to you: followers or supporters? Followers sounds like sheep. Whatever you tell them to do, they will do. Supporters actively participate and engage, even if they don’t agree with you. If this post doesn’t nothing but make you recognize that concept, I have done my job as a writer.

Next, I would tell you to focus on one thing a day you can do to take care of yourself. People don’t have an hour to do skincare sometimes, but 3-5 minutes of meditation, mirror affirmation or making a cup of coffee while listening to a podcast or your favorite song before the whole world wakes up is possible.

We always say we don’t have enough time for ourselves, but is it just an excuse for not taking some responsibility for our health and well-being? I love coffee and instrumental jazz in the morning as I hear the roosters begin to crow. I love taking a hot shower before bed and slathering shea butter all over my body and my feet before putting on socks to lock in the moisture. Sometime 5-10 minutes is all we get. Make the most of that time and take care of yourself.

Maya Lynne’s first potter creation. That handle is huge! LOL

Finally, get a new hobby. Not something that you do with other people. Find something that is uniquely you. Oftentimes, we pick activities that were picked for us as children or through our relationships. But have you ever thought about what you want to do outside of others? Are there sports or arts you’ve wanted to try, but maybe no one wanted to do them with you? Figure it out, give it a trial run and enjoy yourself.

How many of these signs were you able to recognize in your life?

Fear List | 7 Signs You Need to Prioritize Yourself