Being the Only One in the Room | Kazakhstan

Elevation Festival | Kazakhstan July 2026

I didn’t want to write this blog. My friends are pretty amazing, so this is not an observation of them; it is merely an observation of the environment they grew up in.

I didn’t feel comfortable in Kazakhstan. I felt comfortable with them. I had a lot of fun, even if it was 105 degrees outside and the sun rose at 4 am. My problem was the lack of diversity.

I have been to so many places in the world, and never have I noticed, for such a long period of time, that I was the ONLY ONE in the room… for weeks.

Normally, this doesn’t jolt me, but this visit it did, and two particular incidents made me want to shrink. I hate that feeling. It’s taken a lot of my life away from me, dimming myself to make others more comfortable. But it was also a reminder for me that I wasn’t born to fit in. I was born to stand out.

Elevation Festival

The irony of this name… It is a festival that was created to party and make connections on the mountain. This is where the pretty and popular people go to see and be seen. And I was seen. I was the only person who was not Asian or Caucasian there. And they noticed. People stared but didn’t approach. I don’t know about you, but it’s hard to smile when the people around me are staring. Just smile, say hello, and be kind.

Early in the night, I was praying for an exit strategy. But I was on a mountain, with my friends. It was a drive that took us at least an hour. I had cellphone service, but if I needed to call someone, who would be able to come and get me? I was in a foreign country I hadn’t even heard of two months prior, and my closest support system, besides my friends I was visiting, was in Bali. It was the first time I really felt like an outsider.

Mind you, I have been in rooms and spaces, in America, especially in Hollywood, where I have been the only Black person in the room or one of the few. But there was something about not having the freedom to leave when I wanted and not knowing where I could go that froze me.

I immediately thought of Nolan Wells. What must that frightened 18-year-old young man have felt when he realized he was by himself? The level of survival mode his brain and body must have endured. I told my friends that I needed to go to the bathroom, but what I really did was head into the bathroom and bawl. I cried for all the Black children who have been in survival mode; just trying to make it in a world that made them feel different. I cried for the lack of diversity and unity in worldwide spaces. And I cried for me. My entire life, I have been an other, whether in my own community or amongst diverse groups of people. And something inside of me, with the release of that cry, lightened.

Almaty

When we got back, I talked to my friends about it. One understood, and one didn’t. Let me not say that one didn’t. Let me say instead that when people don't know how to “fix something” for you, they can undermine your emotions by downplaying your experience. But the one who understood….

We were walking along the lake, people pulling out their cameras and phones and taking video of me. We were walking down the street after eating at a restaurant; people recording me and staring. It was God forcing me to acknowledge my greatest fear: being seen.

I guess that’s why celebrity was always hard for me. I love being an actress, but I also love my privacy. I always wanted to do my job and then go home and be me. But that’s not what that job entails. And I was reminded that tests have always been a stepping stone for me to unlock my North Node to stand in the discomfort of being in the spotlight and shine.

This trip taught me that I have worked hard to learn my life’s lesson, my purpose, and step into it NOW. I cannot be afraid to stand in the spotlight and be seen. Not everyone who gawks at me means me ill, but be aware because some people do. Not every journey is going to end in tragedy, but the power of discernment and knowing when and how to leave a situation that is life-threatening or altering, before it’s too late, is important.

Final Thoughts

After the mountain, everything shifted how I saw the rest of the vacation. If someone had a camera, I smiled into it. I am different, and that’s going to make people curious and cause chaos.

I pray that Nolan finds peace in the afterlife. His loss is a reminder that I am still alive and capable of shining, growing, healing, and gaining enlightenment in the right environments. I discerned well. My people were protective, not predators. I am lucky.

Don’t shrink and don’t be afraid to be the only one.

If you struggle with trusting your intuition, feel free to schedule a clarity call or check-in. It might just save your life.