Fear List | Solo Travel
Maya Lynne Robinson in the Philippines, November 2023
Happy Birthday month to me! I’m so grateful for another year and another opportunity to learn and teach. I needed one place to bring all of my work together… slowly… deliberately, so that it was not overwhelming to you or me.
Life is a journey about how far we can push ourselves out of our comfort zones to become the greatest version of ourselves. This isn’t a race with any other person or their journey; it’s about individual growth and development.
I made a pledge to myself that if there were things that I feared, the ones with the least physical risk involved, I would do. And solo traveling was high up on my Fear List.
When I had the money, my friends might have had to work. When they had the time off, I might have to work. I was going nowhere and I was going nowhere fast. Something needed to change. My beautiful home felt like a prison. I wasn’t growing. It felt like I was in a pot much too small for me and my roots were be squeezed. The gardening metaphor would not leave me alone. And I was going to have to do this alone.
I was never comfortable doing things by myself because I wasn’t sure I would like my own company. How many of you have had that feeling before? I was good, supportive energy for others, but what about me? I realized I didnt’t focus much on myself. I wasn’t sure , at this point, what my hobbies and interest were anymore because I had spent so much time doing what others wanted.
I had lost myself in my desire to support others. I had become a supporting character in my own life. I realized I would have to move differently, but explain to no one. I am walking around in main character energy. I get to be the most important person in my story. And that doesn’t require explaining to anyone. Let my actions speak louder than my words. And the first action of business was figuring out where I was going to go.
All I wanted to do, for sure, was I loved:
Museums, museums, museums. I love art and I love culture. I can tour art for hours!
Inexpensive luxury. There is nothing better than luxury on a budget. From spa days to private tours, I love getting the best price for premium experiences.
Food, folks, and fun. I wanted to meet cool people, eat yummy food and enjoy the nightlife.
Lifestyle: Go Where You Glow
I chose The Philippines! This was actually my second trip, but the first doesn’t really count. I’ll tell you about that in another story.
The first picture was at the start of my 10-day vacation to the Philippines and the second was one week after I arrived back in Los Angeles. Those 10 days away did something amazing to my spirit. Unfortunately, I didn’t know how to keep this energetic glow when I got back, and so, I would go on several solo vacations around the world, including back here, trying to figure out the secret to a vacation glow, which is permanent transformation through clarity in purpose and balance,
My lifestyle requires good food, fitness, and making sound cultural connections and decisions. I realized I was going to have to trust myself and depend on my discernment to navigate foreign waters and find my shine.
10 days later, the light was back in my eyes, my skin had cleared up and the glow of my aura was bright. But I don’t have to tell you that. You can look at the pictures and tell the difference.
Intuition: Get Strong, Get Grounded, Get Ready
I have learned the importance of signs, symbols and synchronicities when figuring out what to do next or what to expect in my life. God may not break it down in the simplest form, but enough for me to become aware that these signs mean something.
Before I left, I told you about the garden metaphor. How no matter how nice my home was, I felt stifled, as if I had stopped growing. I didn’t like it. After heavily moving furniture around my house, I realized that the person sho had to move was me. Not just my body out of the house and on vacation, but also out of that house. I wouldn’t truly understand that second example for another six months, but it was buried somewhere in my subconscious for me to remember it later.
Now, let’s take these three pictures that stood out to me from my trip. I take a lot of pictures and videos because I love to look back an witness my transformation. when we our in transformation, it is hard for us to see the changes in ourselves, thought we may feel like we are chasing. Having media evidence helps the analysis of change.
The gym was not anything I was interested in, but something told me to pack gym clothes anyway. From Day one, jet lagged and all, I was in the gym. The signs were that I would have to toughen up. This was an internal and external wake up call to take better care of my body and also get a tougher skin.
Sitting at a museum and staring at a painting. I was being told to sit and enjoy the culture, history and ability of time this vacation is giving me to relax and be present.
And at a different museum, I thought taking this picture was cute, but the more I looked at it, the more I felt it was a symbol for me facing not my fear, but choosing it. I was in a place in my life where I wanted to confront fear intentionally and reclaim control over what once felt overwhelming.
Travel: Main Character Energy
I consider the Philippines my first solo travel, though I had been to Bali solo already. Bali had been planned, from food to activities, the first 8 out of 10 days of the trip, so I had safe adventure. I wasn’t forced to interact, I had built in conversation with the resort staff.
In the Philippines, I felt spiritually peaceful and present. Once I got to the beautiful beaches of Boracay, I began to intuit messages more clearly. It was the culture shock I needed to understand where you go to grow (Manila/ Boracay) versus go to glow. (Bali)
The lesson I learned with this first solo vacation is there is nothing to fear but fear itself. You don’t learn the unknown by fearing it; only by facing it. I learned to focus on turning fear into something exciting through travel.
Travel also taught me that it’s nice to have a supporting cast. With my love language being acts of service, it feels like it’s the only time I’m allowed, or even expected, to ask for help. Being somewhere where you don’t know the culture, language or laws, it’s important to ask and accept support and help in order to navigate new territory.
I left that 10 day trip a brand new person. I got the travel bug, I fell in love with the Philippines and I remembered how much I loved to learn. I had outgrown my flowerpot. It was time to find a new garden.
Fearless: I am no longer uncomfortable asking for help because I deserve and need it.
