Fear List | Miracles

Enjoying myself in a nature cafe. | May 2026

I haven’t posted in a few weeks. The transition I’ve been going through from Cali to Bali over the last 10 days has been a lot… in a good way. I believe in miracles, so why is this on my list?

I forgot how to believe in miracles for ME. It has felt like God left me off his  list for a long time. Knowing the path, I struggled to get on it. I was busy hiding my real plans from others that I forgot to just focus on my vision.

My vision is simple. I wanted to find community, family, and unconditional love. I truly believe that these are three things on my vision board that become harder and harder each day to believe in. I saw the practicality of life. Bills need to be paid, and people are going to follow fame over family. My faith was broken.

And then it happened slowly. Now, I can see how it happened slowly. It started in that in-between place, the one between Cali and Bali; it began in Taiwan. I met a person, opposite and similar to me at the same time, and we immediately bonded. Similar experiences. Similar faith. Different lifestyles. And we clicked.

I don’t want perfect people in my life; I want those who make me feel safe.

Lifestyle: Where Everybody Knows Your Name, and They’re Always Glad You Came

Returning to Bali and finding flowers in my home. | May 2026

I have grown up in a lifestyle where people know that I’m around, but are they really happy to see me? Wherever I lived previously, I didn’t know my neighbors well, and they didn’t seem interested. I would call friends and let them know I was home only for them to call me weeks or months later to see if we could hang out weeks or months later.

There were no late-night hangouts, long talks about everything going on in the world, or laughing until we almost peed ourselves. And then I came back to Bali this time.

Back in March, I slipped away from Bali and never told my neighbors I was leaving. Before I left, my fear of saying the wrong thing in Bahasa Indonesia or offending their culture left me with hardly any interaction with my neighbors.

But when I returned, when they saw me the next day after arriving the night before, getting off the motorbike, they cheered. I’m not kidding, they literally cheered. It was as if we all knew we were safe. They knew I liked them. I had come back. And I knew they liked me. The excitement of my neighbors to try to communicate with me, when most speak less than 2 % English was remarkable. We sat on the side of the road with our phones, typing back and forth over Google Translate for an hour, happy and hugging and laughing.

Intuition: The Perfect Andectode

A message from a nine year old love bug. Children know good people. | May 2026

Around the 4th day, I met the new family that had moved into the house behind mine. They were an expat family. I had been praying to God to find someone who was like me. Be careful what you wish for because I met a spitfire criminal lawyer from Kazakhstan and her two kids. They needed an English teacher, someone patient but firm. I needed a spiritual teacher. She is a teacher of Neurographics, often called Neurographic Art, which is a drawing technique that blends psychology and art to literally "re-wire" your neural pathways. By drawing organic, flowing lines and rounding out sharp edges, you quiet your nervous system and help your brain physically map out new, positive beliefs.

My life works best in balance, in the place and space where I can be the student, learning a new way of thinking, and the teacher, being a TEFL tutor for the kids. I prayed for all of this so recently that I was shocked at how quickly it manifested.  How quickly did it manifest?

Travel: Plane and Simple

Manifesting community and all-around healthy living in Canggu | May 2026

Yep, I spelled it that way on purpose. It’s plain words.

Every time I travel, I always take a video of my journey. From leaving my house to landing at the airport, I document the 20-hour journey into the future (Bali is 15-16 hours, depending on daylight savings from Cali.)

I did not take one picture or video from the moment I left my keys in my home in Cali until I unlocked my door in Bali. I watched movies and slept. My soul was tired. I sat with my new I AM affirmation deck and pulled out one card at the beginning of the plane ride. It was I Am Practical. It’s the third eye chakra card, and the affirmation is, I am realistic. I expect miracles.

I understand this may seem like a contradiction, but it’s not. I find it important to be based in reality and be a dreamer.  I prayed to God to release any people, places, and things that didn’t serve me any longer, and perhaps never did. I asked to remember who I am, but allow the new version of me to boldly take up space and be loved and not used. I asked God to make my life more realistic and sustainable, so that I don’t have to hide the projects I’m working on; that I would have discernment to figure out who needed boundaries or blocking from my life. I pleaded with God to be useful and not used up.

I asked God for students and teachers who were ready, like-minded people and

You don’t need to know what’s going to happen to believe that something good will happen. You only need true belief and faith that it will. And that anything in your path that doesn’t help you manifest your beliefs vanishes, even if it’s just your personal fears. Become realistic about who you are and where you are in your life. Do you use things and thoughts for the function of fashion?

If you would like help or support to clarity your fears, I am here to support you.